on freedom

it is indeed strange to refer to each other here in the second person instead of keeping it as a public dialogue.
i believe its possible to keep this dialogue and way of expression going without direct accusation which i feel not so appropriate here.
also i think there are more ideologies of collaboration than just either " freedom ideology" or a so called " control based " ideology. there are endless ways of being with each other in exchange. endless ways of creating together..in agreement or not in agreement. in defenitions or not. in harmony or conflict.
the point for me is what is the way we choose (!) to be with each and where do we want to get to. i mean, how close do we want to get to the other, how much do we want to share, how much do we actually want to be together? and are we ready to give certain things up in order to have others.which for me life is a about. its a constant process of negotiation.
we are never able to have everything , to do everything, to be everything at all moments all the time.
so this will determine the way how we will want to deal with each other and the strategies for that.
do we actually want to create something with each other or is it just about being in a constant state of friction. then this for me became very tiring. and there is a point where i feel no art project can be so important in order to give up your well being. to let it take over your actual " life"

it is also interesting to see how the word freedom can be reduced to just a term. a word full of reference.
freedom that in our minds appears as something that we all know what we are talking about.
which we all need in order to exist.
and yet there are so many levels of freedom. and many ways freedom can be experienced based on very individual experiences or memories. what for the one already means free for the other could still feel limiting and unfree.
it becomes interesting where is the point where somebody`s freedom is beginning to reduce the others persons freedom.

i mean when you are in a shared process of making something. and of course we want to be free.
one person needs to introduce an elephant into the project as an essential desire to be free. but the other begins to feel suppressed by this elephant because it is huge and is taking too much space and begins to create chaos.
where does the negotiation begin? or should there be any negotiation at all ?
in this case it was not an elephant but a person that was imposed during the process.
and it was not the person but the way how it was imposed that began to limit the other persons freedom.
and now there is a knot:
nobody wants to give up their freedom in the way it seems essential to them. for the one it means being able to do whatever individual private needs demand, for the other it means not having things imposed on yourself but to find a way together.